Beauty for Ashes …

… in the Wake of COVID-19

……. for Our Families

From Normal to a Better New Normal

Today, our world is a long way from what just a short time ago we thought of as “normal”. And, when the COVID-19 pandemic is more under control, we shouldn’t expect our world to return to that “normal”.

Right now, we may tend to focus on what we’ve lost from the old “normal”, as well as what we anticipate losing in the new “normal”. But, it’s not all loss now and it doesn’t have to be after the current crisis has passed. A good example is that in the middle of this crisis, “miraculously”, we suddenly found it possible to get our homeless off our streets.

In his video, entitled Silver Lining of Coronavirus Pandemic, Radio Talk Show Host Dennis Prager points out that life has never been meant to be pain-free. He contends that toughening us up to this fact of life is a silver lining to the COVID-19 related crisis. My goal in this reawakening of Here I Raise My Ebenezer is to take a look beyond this to ways this crisis can serve as a vehicle to make and/or maintain positive changes in our society.

In the time immediately preceding the world’s current crisis, there were many social issues sorely in need of change. But, typically, time and other resources were too limited to address those needs. Now that many of our “normal” activities have been put on hold, we have more time available to make plans for making those needed changes, as well as plans for maintaining positive changes that have been forced by the current crisis.

During this time, I intend to use Here I Raise My Ebenezer to address several of these issues. With this writing, I’m focusing on a crucial social element that is near and dear to my heart … our Families.

Our families, resting on the firm foundation of our communities, was once the strength of our social fabric. The quarantine of our old “normal” offers us a unique opportunity to renew the health of this critical element in our society.

Strengthening Healthy Families

For better or worse; the closing of businesses, schools, entertainment venues, etc., along with social distancing and limiting the size of gatherings, is forcing us all to spend more time with those with whom we live …. in most cases, that means our families. In the best-case scenarios, this means we get to spend more time investing in those we love and our relationships with them. In my opinion, an overarching facet of this should be to develop new habits in doing this so that we won’t easily or willingly give them up when the pressures of returning to whatever our new “normal” is begins to encroach on this rediscovered treasure.

Strengthening Troubled Families

Of course, there are many families with challenges in place that would dampen the interest of some to invest any time in other family members. My prayer is that individuals who fit this description will take the same approach with this that I recommend for everyone for helping the world get through this time of crisis … be determined to be part of the solution, not part of the problem, by doing something good for others.

This can only be successful, though, if both parties humble themselves and adopt the same attitude. Even then, the two parties may not be able to find all the needed answers for their troubled relationship on their own. More good news! Although many churches are streaming church services online, many of their “normal” activities have been postponed. That means there are some great counseling resources available and they don’t have to be delivered face-to-face. So, whether it’s a troubled marriage or a troubled parent/child relationship or a troubled relationship between siblings or … , there is ample time available and resources are readily available for helping to bring the needed healing. The key remaining necessary element is your willingness to invest in making beauty a reality where ashes are imminent.

Healing Broken Families

In an article entitled Land Where the Fathers Hide, I addressed a level of “troubled relationships” that goes well beyond those mentioned immediately above. For the most part, this focused on the issues resulting from one or both parents being missing in the lives of their children. The causes for this include parents who vanish simply out of selfish irresponsibility. Divorce contributes to this as well, in some cases involving the bitterness of one parent estranging the other from their children. And there are circumstances resulting from bad choices made by one or both parents resulting in imprisonment, drug addiction, etc.

As obviously challenging as these situations are, I firmly believe they can be transformed. Here too, success depends on all parties involved humbling themselves and adopting an attitude of being determined to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

In order to provide encouragement to those who have relationships that fall into this last category, I want to recount for you a real-life story that I witnessed taking place just since the COVID-19 related crisis began. This involves a couple who married when they were very young, when she got pregnant. Their marriage only lasted a few years after their baby was born. They caused each other a lot of pain in ending their marriage and since then, they haven’t had much of a relationship and most of the relationship they have had has been counterproductive. Though they now have grown grandchildren, in all that time they seemed unwilling or disinterested in finding forgiveness for each other. However, in recent years, they became aware that they had both returned to living according to their Christian faith. So, when the current crisis hit, it heightened their concern that their child and their grandchildren don’t appear to be leading their lives as faithful Christians. As a result, they reached out to each other and agreed to jointly communicate to their child and their grandchildren with a message about the paramount importance of faith at a time like this. It’s too early to assess the results of their reaching out to their offspring but it’s clear that this effort did result in one major accomplishment … their forgiveness of each other.

Real Hope for Our Families

Although I find this real-life story to be encouraging, I realize that it doesn’t map to every case involving divorce. And, cases involving abandonment, imprisonment, drug addiction, etc., can certainly be more complex. But, at the very least, this story should serve as encouragement that, as hopeless as some family circumstances may seem, hope can be found. Moreover, if we do take advantage of our current circumstances to strengthen our healthy and even our troubled families, our number of broken families in need of healing will be significantly reduced and overall, the health of our families, as a great strength of our social fabric, will be renewed.