Category Archives: Salvation

Glug and Dad

Glug at the age of 78
Glug at the age of 78

Glug?! That’s an awfully peculiar pet name to give a kid, don’t you think? But, that is the nickname my Dad gave me. He used it from the time I was a baby until he died. Of course, I don’t remember him using it when I was a baby but here’s what he told me about the origin of that name: Apparently, I’ve had a hearty appetite from birth. According to my Dad, when I started bottle-feeding, that appetite resulted in the sound of “glug glug glug” coming from me. Thus his term of endearment for me … Glug!

My intention is to write a series about Glug, to share some unvarnished stories from my life that I think you’ll find interesting and maybe even entertaining. Since it was my Dad who dubbed me with the moniker “Glug”, it seems appropriate that I start this series by telling stories about my Dad and our relationship.

I have dear friends who have developed an excellent and extensive curriculum in Cross-cultural Communication. They teach that we all have aspects to our personalities that they call Life Formers. These could be obvious things like being born blind. Or they could be seemingly less apparent things like being left-handed. From the time I learned about Life Formers, I recognized that, easily, my most significant Life Former was that my Dad left my Mom when I was only three-years-old. With that in mind, you’ll understand that my memories of times spent with my Dad are precious. As I dove into this topic, my sense was that my memories of times spent with my Dad wouldn’t just be precious, they would be precious and few. In sifting through these memories, I found many more than I expected. As a result, I will be covering what I see as most significant highlights with this article and rely on subsequent write-ups to fill out the rest.

Chet

Lonnie and Anna Wiram
Lonnie and Anna Wiram

My Dad’s full name was Chester Alonzo Wiram. Everyone called him Chet. He was born in Fitchburg, Kentucky, to Lonnie and Anna Wiram. At that time, Lonnie was working in the oil fields of Eastern Kentucky and the family was living in a tent. According to the family story, when the tent burned down, the family moved to Indiana.

Chet was the second-born of 12 children. One child died in infancy and another, who had Down syndrome, died in adolescence when she caught measles. I grew up knowing Dad as one of 10 kids, 7 boys and 3 girls. Each of these, my paternal Aunts and Uncles, have warm places in my heart and interesting stories of their own. But, for now, I’ll limit this to a most significant story that the brothers shared with Chet.

Military Service

Six of the 7 brothers served in the U.S. Military. Four of them served at the same time in WWII. These were: Kenny in the Navy, Chet in the Navy, Frank in the Army and Gordon Hubert (aka Hub) in the Navy. Thankfully, my Grandma Wiram didn’t end up suffering the grief of the Mother depicted in the movie Saving Private Ryan.

Kenny, pictured here with his Wife Margaret, served at Naval Station Great Lakes (IL) for the entirety of WWII. There, he was trained as an engraver. One can only imagine how those skills were used in the war effort. After the war, he and his family moved to Washington D.C., where he worked for the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. When visiting Uncle Kenny, he liked to show samples of what he saw as his most interesting work. This included things like engraved invitations to President Kennedy’s dinners, the infamous Dag Hammarskjold stamp, etc.

Margaret and Kenny Wiram
Chet Wiram During Basic Training

Chet served in the South Pacific, most notably as a Petty Officer aboard the escort carrier, USS Bougainville. During the war, he worked as a Radarman. He received Bronze Stars for the battles of Guam, Saipan, Okinawa and Iwo Jima. When the war was over, before his honorable discharge, he served on Shore Patrol in mainland China. This last assignment set the course for the rest of his working life.

Uncle Frank was a humble hero who served in the Army. Though I never heard him talk about his experience, he was awarded the Purple Heart for wounds he survived during the Normandy Invasion. Later, he served as a liberator of concentration camps. After the war, Frank and his family moved to the Inland Empire of California. Eventually, he returned to Terre Haute, IN, our hometown, where he worked as a Letter Carrier for the U.S. Postal Service.

Frank Wiram
Gordon Hubert (Hub) Wiram

Gordon Hubert (aka Hub), the youngest of the four brothers who served in WWII, ended up attaining the highest rank. Like Chet, he served in the Navy in the South Pacific. After the war, he and his family returned to our hometown, where, taking advantage of the GI Bill, he attended and graduated from, what was then, Indiana State Teachers College. Gordon’s career as a school teacher was fairly brief. He was recruited to return to the Navy, eventually attaining the rank of Commander, with a battleship under his command. In retirement, he lived in El Cajon, CA and served as the head of the Point Loma High School NROTC program.

Chet’s Career

Since my Dad was 30 years old when I was born, I wasn’t around for his formative years. As a result, my familiarity with his education, as well as his work experience before I came along, is pretty sketchy. I know that he dropped out of the same high school that I ended up attending. I believe that was, at least partially, driven by his Dad, who was working to support a Wife and 10 kids, encouraging him to get a job. That belief is supported by my Dad telling me about going out for the high school football team and having his Dad make him return his uniform and quit the team. Later, in the Navy, he did get his GED.

The only job I remember hearing about my Dad having prior to WWII, was as a Jelly Maker at Ann Page Foods, the food processing plant operated by A&P. I’m not sure what, if any, jobs my Dad had immediately after the war but I know that, eventually, he joined the Terre Haute Police Department, as a Patrolman. He ended up retiring as the Lieutenant of Detectives. In retirement, he worked as a Pre-sentence Investigator for the Vigo County Courts.

Police Officer Chet Wiram

Most of my early memories of my Dad have him in his police uniform. Although he left my Mom when I was only three-years-old, he came by our home frequently. Often, this was while he was on patrol. Our home was peculiarly positioned with one alley running behind it and another running beside it. Dad and his Partner, Harry Miller, would park their patrol car under the kitchen window facing the side alley. If a dispatch call came in while Dad was in the kitchen visiting with us, Harry would use his flashlight to signal Dad through the kitchen window. Meanwhile, he would visit with us in the kitchen while drinking coffee and smoking unfiltered Lucky Strike cigarettes. Those were two of my strongest sensory memories of Dad from that time … the smell of coffee and Lucky Strikes along with the smell of Old Spice aftershave and the smell of the leather components of Dad’s uniform.

Of course, working as a Police Officer sometimes means dealing with people during the worst times in their lives. That was the case with the most notable incident in my Dad’s police career. In the evening of February 1, 1954, a local man came home and shot his Wife and her two Daughters. The Wife and the eldest Daughter were killed. The younger Daughter was wounded but she managed to get to a neighbor’s home, to call the police. Apparently, the shooter’s actions were his response to being served for divorce, along with an eviction notice, earlier that day. When the shooter’s Son reported seeing his Father get a 5-gallon can of kerosene and hearing him declare that he was going to burn down the business where his Wife had worked, two Police Officers … my Dad and his Partner, Harry Miller … were dispatched to that location. While investigating the exterior of the business, in the dark and cluttered with numerous shipping crates, a bullet tore past my Dad’s head. My Dad, then, caught a glimpse of a man crouching behind a crate. When he called out to the man to surrender, he was answered with another gunshot. With that, my Dad fired four shots at the figure hiding behind the crate. After waiting and cautiously approaching, my Dad found the shooter lying on the ground with a .38 caliber revolver at his side and a bullet wound in his head.

True Detective Magazine Article

NOTE: Every year the police organizations throughout Indiana conduct firearms competitions. During my Dad’s police career, he consistently placed First or Second in the handgun competition. Obviously, the assailant in the account above chose to shoot at absolutely the wrong Cop. In January of 1956, this story was published in True Detective Magazine in an article entitled The Cop Who Shot Straight.

By now, you probably think I’ve told you all there is to know about my Dad’s worklife. But you’re forgetting a significant aspect of his being a Cop. Cops were even more underpaid in his day and he was supporting two families. So, to supplement his income as a Cop, he did a lot of moonlighting.

I doubt that I know about all of his moonlighting but I do recall that, occasionally, he would transport cars for Bob Moore, a local Used Car Dealer. He, also, worked as a Salesman at a local appliance store, named Jimmy’s Appliance. Mostly, I remember him earning extra money through construction. Unfortunately for me, he was always too busy to pass his skills along. I often wish he had been able to do that. To give you some perspective on the level of his construction skills, let me tell you that he built a ranch style home for his second family all by himself. He told me the only help he had was from the concrete guys who poured the foundation and a guy who helped him raise the wall frames into their vertical position.

First Family

Earlier, I mentioned that my Dad supported two families. The “First Family”, the family I grew up in, consisted of: Gerry (Geraldine), my Mom; Nancy, my Sister; Dick (Chester Richard), my Brother and me.

 

I really don’t know when my parents first met. I know that they grew up in the same neighborhood and that they were part of the youth group at the Second Avenue EUB Church. When Dad was 21 and Mom was 19, they married. Nancy came along in 1941, less than a month before Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor. Dick was born during WWII in 1944, just about nine months after Mom had visited Dad on R&R in Southern California. And, I was the Baby Boomer, born in 1947. I’ll tell you more about these family members another time. At this juncture, though, I do want to share two anecdotes related to my older siblings.

When the 9/11 attack occurred, I thought that the way it affected life in the U.S. must have been similar to that of the Pearl Harbor Attack. When I asked my Mom if my assumption was accurate, she told me that she really didn’t remember. She went on to say that was because she wasn’t able to pay much attention. Her first child, my Sister Nancy, had been born on November 17, 1941, just a couple of weeks before the Pearl Harbor Attack on December 7, 1941. Although FDR called that day “a date which will live in infamy”, I guess some people were just busy dealing with the circumstances of their personal lives.

When my Brother Dick was born, my Dad was aboard the Bougainville in the South Pacific. On  July 4, 1944, upon the arrival of the news that his Son had been born, Dad and his shipmates celebrated the Fourth of July birth with a drunken party. Of course, in 1944, communication technology was not nearly as sophisticated as it is today. When the telegram arrived, the official news was that my Brother had been born on July 3, 1944, not the Fourth of July. The result was my Dad and his shipmates being chagrined and hung over.

Sadly, when I was only three-years-old, my Dad and my Mom got divorced. I don’t really know much about what led up to that. Of course, my Mom knew and my older siblings must have known much more than I did. Suffice it to say, it seems my Dad left my Mom for another woman. That made us, tragically, what has become common but then was quite rare … a “broken family”.

Second Family

Coincidentally, “the other woman” was named Nancy, like my Sister. Here too, I don’t know how they met. I do know that she worked for the local newspaper, the Terre Haute Tribune-Star. Somewhere, I have a clipping from that local paper mentioning that Officer Wiram seemed especially happy that day due to the birth of a Son … me. So, I’m guessing that Dad met that Nancy  through the newspaper in his role as a Police Officer. I’m also guessing that the newspaper clipping I mentioned may indicate that they had a relationship prior to my birth.

Nancy had a Daughter from her previous marriage. Her name was Melody. We were the same age. Dad adopted her and she became my step-Sister. Together, Nancy and Dad had a Son, named Mark. Although he was my half-Brother, since he was nearly eight years younger than me, we didn’t really have a relationship as children. Sadly, all of the Second Family have now passed away. The most recent was Mark (pictured on the right) in January of 2021.

Mark James Wiram

As you might guess, Dad’s second Wife and the Second Family in general, were not popular subjects around my home. That Nancy had native-American ancestry. My Mom, who was the least hateful person I’ve ever known, always referred to her as “Old Pocahontas”. Since that Nancy played a key role in my Mom becoming a single-Parent, raising three kids on her own, her harsh attitude towards “the other woman” is understandable.

Although we, the kids of the First Family, weren’t allowed to visit the home of the Second Family, once I got out of elementary school, my Dad started encouraging me to find opportunities to visit his home. Eventually I did. At first, I felt sneaky and guilty about doing that. When I think about it, I remember that I would tell my Mom that I was going out to do something with friends. Then, I’d walk to a gas station about three blocks from my home where I’d use a payphone to call my Dad and he would come get me. I don’t remember a lot of details about those visits. Mostly, I just hung out with Dad and started to get acquainted with that Nancy, Melody and Mark. Of course, sometime along the way, my Mom did find out about my secretive visits. I don’t recall there being a lot of drama associated with her discovery. For me, it was just nice to, then, be able to visit openly.

There was one incident that took place at my Dad’s house that I’m sure you’ll find to be amusing. I mentioned that Melody and I were the same age. Although we went to different high schools, we shared typical teenage interests. As a result, I began taking one or more of my buddies along on my visits, including times when no adults were home. Typically, we would listen to rock-and-roll music, drink sodas and eat snacks. However, one day we decided to joy-ride in my Dad’s old “beater”. He always had an old “beater” around to use when he worked construction. This one was a 1940s era Ford, complete with running boards. I don’t know why but it didn’t have an ignition key. Dad just made it easy to start with a “hotwire” setup. During that time, Dad painted his house pink. When he finished, he had leftover paint that he used to paint the old “beater”. That shade of pink was nice on the house. On the old “beater”, it was just bizarre. As you might imagine, it was pretty tempting for four or five teenagers, who were nearing the time when we could get our driver’s licenses, to see that hotwired old “beater” just sitting there. Anyway, we did give in to temptation and we took turns behind the steering wheel, ripping and tearing around the streets of my Dad’s suburban neighborhood. During one of my turns, I rounded a corner on the street where my Dad lived and to my horror, I saw a police car sitting in his driveway. In my panic, I jerked the steering wheel sharply to the left. That took us into a neighbor’s yard, over a sapling and nearly through the picture window of their living room. Again in a panic, we decided to have the only kid with a Learner’s Permit get behind the steering wheel, thinking that would minimize our legal exposure. Of course, the occupants of that police car, my Dad and his partner, quickly arrived on the scene. For me, everything after that is a blur. I don’t really remember the details of the aftermath. But, I’m sure I’m still grounded. 

Dad and Glug

One of my favorite memories of Dad was when he came to my elementary school class for Sharing Time. No doubt you can imagine how special it was for me to have my Dad, in his Full-dress Police Uniform, come to my class to share about being a Cop.

Every year, the FOP (Fraternal Order of Police) held a family Christmas party. I don’t know how Dad worked out bringing the First Family kids to this and not the Second Family kids. Regardless, it was something I thoroughly enjoyed. Two key things I remember about my time there was that Dad always wanted me to introduce myself as “Chet Wiram’s brat” and he wanted me to be one of the kids who would sing a Christmas Carol solo. The one song I remember singing was Up On The Rooftop. Each kid who sang a solo would get the same prize. It was a fishnet style Christmas stocking stuffed with candy and in the toe was a fresh orange and a silver dollar.

We thought of ourselves as lower-middle-income but, in reality, we were somewhere between poor and lower-income. That meant we didn’t take expensive vacations. But that didn’t stop Dad from sharing fun times with us.

Dad’s parents lived in the area and so did most of his siblings. So, we always had family we could go visit. My favorite was visiting the farm home where my Uncle Willie, Aunt Lillian and Cousins Carol Sue, David and Pat lived. It was in a little community not far from my hometown, named Blackhawk. Uncle Willie worked for the Pennsylvania Railroad so the farming aspects of their home was limited. Still, they had a cow that they milked and Aunt Lillian made her own butter. There were enough chickens that we had fresh eggs every morning. Of course, there was always fresh fruit and vegetables. They had a few pigs but I think they ended up going to market instead of on our dinner table. I do remember “slopping the hogs” so they served well as garbage disposals. My favorite meal, though, was frog legs. The boys (David, Pat, Dick and I) would take gunny sacks to seine frogs out of ponds in the area and take them home for Aunt Lillian to prepare. During the day, the boys would have a blast playing on the farm and in the surrounding countryside. Carol Sue and Nancy would go horseback riding and help Aunt Lillian around the house. In the evening, Dad would hang a white bedsheet in the farm home’s large front yard and he would show home movies while we had popcorn, fudge and soda pop.

Wiram Blackhawk Farm Home
Wiram Blackhawk Farm Home

As one of seven Brothers, even as a young adult, much of Dad’s social life involved hanging out with those guys. Even after he left my Mom, Dad would come to our house to make home improvements – e.g. putting in a half-bath and shower, enclosing our front porch, replacing the shed and outhouse with a garage, etc. In a space in our backyard, next to the garage that he had built, he constructed a concrete ping pong table. I still remember watching those Brothers having a great time, playing ping pong under a single bare light bulb on hot and humid Indiana Summer nights.

The first real vacation I remember taking was when Dad took the First Family, including Mom, to St. Louis to visit their renowned zoo. Since Dad had a second Wife and a Second Family, I know that seems peculiar but, as a kid, I didn’t give that any thought. At the time, I may have been preschool age or at most, early elementary school age. I don’t recall the length of the trip but I remember spending at least one night in a motel. Of course, the highlight of the trip was the zoo. Gorillas, monkees, lions, elephants, giraffes and tigers, along with exotic birds and reptiles, etc. Plus beverages, snacks and souvenirs. How exciting?! And for me, one of the precious memories I have of Dad, Mom, Nancy Dick and me enjoying life together as a family.  

Several other vacation experiences were made possible through my Dad’s construction skills. He built a camper trailer that we used at some of Indiana’s nearby State Parks. The one I remember the best was McCormick’s Creek. This too was one of those peculiar times when, regardless of the fact that Dad had a second Wife and a Second family; Dad, Mom, Nancy Dick and I were able to enjoy life together as a family. And, McCormick’s Creek provided a wonderful setting for that with its spectacular limestone canyon, flowing creek, scenic waterfalls, hiking trails, fire tower, stone arch bridge, Statehouse Quarry, wild life, etc. In addition to using the camper trailer for vacation experiences, we would set it up in our backyard in the Summer so that Dick and I could sleep outdoors. Let me tell you, in the days when A/C was not common, that camper trailer provided a welcome break on hot and humid Indiana Summer nights. 

The vacation that stands out in my memory the most, though, was the trip I made with Dad and the Second Family to visit Dad’s older Brother, Kenny and his family in the Washington D.C. area. There’s too much to tell about this trip to include in this article. So, I’ll plan to cover those details in a later entry. Although this experience was brimming with highlights, the most meaningful parts were getting to know the principals much better – i.e. Dad, Nancy, Melody, Mark, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Margaret and Cousins Terry and Wayne.

Estrangement

As mentioned early-on in this article, my most significant Life Former was that my Dad had left my Mom when I was only three-years-old. Sometime around my late high school/early college years, I became more conscious of the negative effects of not having a Father around as much as I would have liked and thus, not getting much mentoring from him. As I struggled with considerations such as; higher education, career goals, finding a Wife, starting a family, financial goals, etc.; I increasingly developed bitterness about that lack of mentoring. That resulted in my avoiding contact with my Dad and not being very pleasant when we were in touch.

Looking back, I realize that my behavior only worsened the situation. But I was operating with the emotions of an immature late-teen and that was the choice I made. Although I doubt if my Dad knew the specifics of my self-inflicted estrangement choice, to his credit, he recognized that something was wrong and he loved me enough to want to correct it.

I remember that he called me, asking if we could meet for lunch. Grudgingly, I accepted. I believe we went to one of Dad’s favorite police patrol coffee-stops … Steak ‘n’ Shake. Actually, most of our conversation took place in Dad’s car in the Steak ‘n’ Shake parking lot. Once again, I wasn’t very pleasant with him but, in the end, I agreed to getting together with him more often.

I don’t remember much about the progression of our relationship following our Steak ‘n’ Shake meeting but our relationship did improve. In fact, we became closer than ever. I will be eternally grateful for that. Although it came later in the game than I would’ve preferred, I did get to benefit from Dad’s counsel on some important issues. And, it was truly a blessing to have him visit my workplace and my home, with my young family and especially for him to get to spend time with my Daughter, Misty.

Superman

I think it’s not uncommon for kids to think of their Dad as Superman. Based on what I’ve told you about my Dad’s military service, his police career and his construction skills; it’s logical to think I had that view of my Dad too. I did. But, I was shocked into reality one day in 1971. My Brother and I had gone to Qualifications for the Indy 500. When we got back to my Indianapolis home, we were greeted with the news that my Dad had been hospitalized with a heart attack. Today, we would have gotten that news directly by cell phone while we were at the IMS. But, back then, communication wasn’t that easy. It turned out that Dad’s heart attack had happened while he was at work in Terre Haute and he had driven himself to the hospital. So, much of the news we got was secondhand and vague. I don’t remember much about the immediate aftermath. But I know, as soon as we could, we made the 80 mile trek from Indy to Terre Haute. As I recall, Dad’s stay in the hospital was fairly brief, he was able to return to work after a moderate time off and all seemed to return to normal. After all, Dad was only 53-years-old.

Looking back, I realize that Dad’s lifestyle was one of doing all the things you’re not supposed to do to avoid having a heart attack. He wasn’t a chain-smoker but he smoked cigarettes a lot. More often than not, when he was smoking, he had a cup of coffee in the other hand. Being a cop is a very stressful job. On top of that, he worked like a dog, moonlighting to be able to support two families. Plus, maintaining relationships with a Wife, an ex-Wife and five kids is pretty stressful too.

With all that understood, it should have been obvious that another heart attack was an eventuality. But, to me, Dad was still Superman. Right? Wrong! In late May/early June of 1974, Dad was hospitalized with a heart attack again. That certainly got the attention of everyone in his family. The kids from the First Family all lived away from Terre Haute so we all started making it a point to visit as often as possible. My most vivid memory of that time was Fathers Day. All the kids from both the First and Second Families visited Dad at Terre Haute’s Union Hospital. For me, the most memorable part of that visit came when the family went out from Dad’s hospital room to a more accommodating meeting area. Dad asked me to stay behind in order to push him out to the meeting area in a wheelchair after he visited the bathroom. When he came out of the bathroom, he came out with a cloud of cigarette smoke over his head. I know that seems crazy but it’s just proof of how addictive nicotine is.

Although the 1974 hospital stay was longer than the one in 1971, Dad was eventually released and sent home. As I recall, the first weekend that Dad was home after his most recent hospital stay, once again, all the kids from both the First and Second Families came to visit. I remember it being an especially good time for all of us, with Dad imploring my Brother and I to stay longer when we decided to go play golf.

During the week following the at-home visit mentioned above, while I was at work in Indy, I got a very emotional call from my step-Sister, Melody. She told me that Dad had suffered another heart attack, that he had been rushed to the hospital, that it didn’t look good and that I should get there as soon as possible. I did just that. When I arrived at Union Hospital, since I was familiar with the 4th Floor location of their Cardiac Care Unit (CCU), I went directly there. At the CCU’s Nurses Station, I let them know who I was and who I was there to see. After some apparent confusion on the part of the Nurse I was talking to, she said, “I don’t think he made it up this far”. That confused me and I asked what she meant. She then said, “If you’ll go down to the 1st Floor, a Chaplain will meet you there to tell you what’s going on.” I was still a bit confused and somewhat numb but I got back on the elevator to go back down to the 1st Floor. That elevator ride was excruciating for me. The elevator stopped at every floor, with several people getting on and off at each floor. During that ride, I started to realize what the Chaplain would most likely tell me. But part of me was still hoping that Dad’s heart attack had turned out to be mild and that they had sent him home. After all, I still thought of him as Superman. But he wasn’t. The news from the Chaplain was that, at the age of 56, my Dad had died.

After getting the devastating news of Dad’s passing and realizing I was alone at the hospital, I drove to Dad’s house where the grieving process truly began. Ironically, the first step of that for me was to bum a cigarette from Melody. I had quit smoking for about a year but I started smoking again that day.

Prior to my Dad’s passing, my only experience with the passing of a close relative was with my maternal Grandmother. Grandma Ray was one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever known and I love her dearly. But, grieving for her was somewhat dampened by the fact that she had been declining into dementia for more than a decade. And, Grandpa Ray was always good at planning ahead so there was no need for any of us to be involved in the funeral arrangements. But that wasn’t true with my Dad’s passing. It seemed that the mortuary for Dad’s funeral had been pre-selected. Otherwise, all the funeral arrangements had to be made. In a way, that turned out to be good for us, keeping us all working together. I know that involved the kids from the First Family working side-by-side with the Second Family. But, for the most part, I remember taking care of those responsibilities with my Sister and Brother. And, I remember it being especially hard for my Brother since Dad had passed away on July 2nd, the day before Dick’s birthday.

The funeral turned out to be pretty impressive. As a Cop, Dad had a lot of friends and acquaintances. Many of these were important individuals in our hometown. So, the number of people coming for visitation and the funeral was significant. The THPD assigned officers in full-dress uniforms to stand as sentries at both ends of Dad’s casket. One of these was Ray Watts, my first friend outside of my family. Dad had helped Ray join the THPD and mentored him as a young officer. Later, Ray became the THPD Chief of Police. The funeral concluded with a motorcade to Roselawn Memorial Park for the graveside services. Except for the funerals I’ve seen on TV of heads-of-state, etc., I’ve never seen a motorcade as lengthy as the one that escorted Dad to his final resting place.

Dad and The Lord

Considering all that I’ve told you about my Dad, you know that he had his imperfections. I suppose that there are those who would classify some of his imperfections as vices. One that he didn’t have, though, was drinking. Although I do remember seeing a fifth of bourbon in Dad’s pantry one year around Christmastime, I don’t recall ever seeing my Dad drink an alcoholic beverage. Obviously, that didn’t lead to him having a long life but it did set a good example for me. On the other hand, he didn’t set an example for me in what I now consider the most important area of life. I don’t have any memory of seeing him in church or even of hearing him talk about The Lord. At the time of his death, though I considered myself to be a Christian, I certainly wasn’t walking with The Lord. Consequently, my sense was that Dad was gone forever. That wasn’t so much of a conscious thought as it was a subconscious emotion. Regardless, it rendered me as being pretty unconsolable.

It was my Mom who set the example for me relative to having a relationship with The Lord. To this day, when I’m asked about how I came to The Lord, my answer is, “You know, I’m a very blessed guy. The first Sunday after I was brought home from being born at Saint Anthony Hospital, my Mom and my Grandma Ray took me to the Second Avenue EUB Church. So, I’ve been around the church and The Word nearly all my life. When I was 12-years-old, I confessed being a sinner, I professed my faith in Jesus Christ and I got baptized.” Of course, I don’t actually recall the events of my first Sunday at church. With that recognition, late in my Mother’s life, I asked her if what I tell people is accurate. She said, “Yes; me, your Grandma and your Dad.” Hearing that, my heart nearly burst with joy. Mom went on to remind me that she and Dad first got to know each other in the Youth Group at Second Avenue EUB Church and that he had done the same as I had when I was 12-years-old … confessing being a sinner, professing faith in Jesus Christ and getting baptized. In other words, that told me that my Dad isn’t gone forever. I have every hope of seeing him again when I’m called home to be with The Lord.

Chester A. Wiram
December 23, 1917 –
July 2, 1974

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Filed under divorce, faith, Family, Fathers, Life Formers, Love, Salvation, sons

Who Is Laura Fasig?

An Encouraging Story For Teachers

For quite awhile I’ve been telling an encouraging story about Laura Fasig. When telling this story recently, I realized that it is so encouraging to some that I should write and publish the story.

One Important Aspect

To be accurate, this story should be entitled “Who Is Laura Fasig … To Me?” The story I’m telling here only addresses one facet of “Who Is Laura Fasig?” No doubt, Laura Fasig’s life was richly multi-faceted. So, I hope and pray that those who knew her far better than I did (especially her family) won’t be offended by my focusing on this one aspect of her life.

Important To Me

Before going on, it’s important for me to tell a little bit about how the most important part of my life led me to become acquainted with Laura Fasig. That is my becoming a Christian.

When people ask me about how I became a Christian, I tell them that the process began the first Sunday after I was brought home from being born at Terre Haute’s Saint Anthony’s Hospital, when my Mother and my Grandma Ray took me to the Second Avenue EUB Church.

Of course, I don’t actually remember that but I confirmed it with my Mom in the latter stages of her life. Actually, when I asked her about it she said, “Yes; me, your Grandma Ray and your Dad.” Since my Dad had left my Mom to marry another woman when I was three years old, I found additional comfort in knowing that he was there too. I’d forgotten that my Mom and Dad had first become acquainted in the Youth Group at Second Avenue.

The picture on the right captures a moment from my Mom and Dad being together in Southern California on R&R during WWII.

Becoming A Christian

Although my going to church started pretty immediately after my birth, of course, that didn’t make me a Christian. I always thought a good way to illustrate that truth was with the metaphor, “Just because you spend a lot of time in a garage, that doesn’t make you a Buick.” John 3:1-21 tells the story of a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, coming at night to inquire of Jesus, who answered him by saying, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” There are, basically, two steps required to be born again … (1) Repenting from a life of sin and (2) Believing in Jesus as your Savior. I did that at Second Avenue EUB when I was twelve years old.

Nicodemus comes at night to inquire of Jesus

The role that Laura Fasig played in my becoming a Christian was that she was my Kindergarten Sunday School Teacher. Although the other kids in Mrs. Fasig’s class were kids from our neighborhood, I only really remember one of them … Jackie Schofield. We actually went to a High School Prom together, we were in school together through college and we’re still connected via Facebook. I, also, remember that our Sunday School Class met in the basement of Second Avenue EUB while “the grownups” Sunday School Service was going on in the sanctuary upstairs. After Sunday School, we would join our families to be together for the main church service. When I think of Mrs. Fasig’s Kindergarten Sunday School Class, one lesson stands out in my mind. It was the story of Zacchaeus, as told in Luke 19:1-10. Mrs. Fasig used a felt story board to teach us that story. I’d never seen anything like it and it fascinated me, Since I clearly recall this teaching seventy years later, obviously, it had a lasting impact,

Zacheus Felt Bible Story Board

Long-term Importance

The kids shown to the left are my Sister, Nancy, my Brother, Dick and the Kindergarten-age me in the early 1950s.

To Kinders, all adults are old. They don’t necessarily recognize different stages of adulthood. In my five-year-old mind, there was little difference in the age of Mrs. Fasig and the age of my Mother. As an adult, I learned that Mrs. Fasig was actually closer to the age of my Grandma Ray. In fact, I learned that when my Mother was a child, on a regular basis, Mrs. Fasig was known to go throughout the neighborhood to gather up kids, taking them to her home to teach them lessons from the Bible. It was knowing this that led me to consider the impact that Laura Fasig had on the lives of others.

Since I hadn’t been in touch with Mrs. Fasig for a very long time, I decided to do some research to find out what had become of her. Of course, today, you can learn a lot about almost anyone via Google. Sadly, I was unable to find any good photo of Laura Fasig but I did find her obituary. That revealed that she had lived to be 99 years old. She had been married to Arnold Fasig and they left behind a Son and Daughter-in-law, a Granddaughter and two Great-granddaughters. And, it confirmed what I said earlier about her life being richly multi-faceted. She was a member of Terre Haute Memorial United Methodist Church, Terre Haute Elks Ladies Golf League 18 Hole Group and she was a charter member of Terre Haute’s Badoura Temple 23 Daughters of the Nile. Her burial is in Terre Haute’s Roselawn Memorial Park; where my Mother, Father and Grandma Ray are buried.

My focus in considering the impact that Laura Fasig had on the lives of others was the number of years the Lord blessed her with. She lived to be 99. In thinking about what my Mother had told me about Mrs. Fasig gathering up neighborhood kids to teach them lessons from the Bible, I realized that took place about 100 years ago. Although my Mother’s family didn’t move into that neighborhood until she was nine-years-old, she would have been Kindergarten-age in 1924. Assuming that Mrs. Fasig continued touching the lives of neighborhood kids until she went home to be with the Lord in 1994, that means she did that for 70 years. One can only imagine the number of lives she impacted during that time.

To me, the way that Laura Fasig impacted lives was more important than the number of lives she touched. I would argue that there is no teaching more important than Biblical instruction, leading to eternal salvation. But how do you measure something like that? I think that my vivid memory of her use of that Zacheus Felt Bible Story Board is a good indicator. That lesson was taught by Mrs. Fasig over 70 years ago and I’m still talking about it. Obviously, that is an indicator of how Mrs, Fasig’s teaching made a positive difference in my life. But, the impact of that teaching didn’t stop with me. You can rest assured that I’ve passed along the Biblical instruction I was given to many others; including our Daughters, our Grandchildren and our Great-grandchildren.

Treasure In Heaven

My regret, in telling this story, is that I never had the opportunity to tell Laura Fasig what a positive impact she had on my life and to thank her for it. I’m confident that she got something far better when she arrived in Heaven. That is hearing our Lord tell her, “Well done good and faithful servant.” If you’re a Teacher striving to make a positive difference in young lives, I hope you’ll keep this in mind. It’s likely that many of your Students won’t recognize the gift you’re giving them in a timely manner. Please don’t let that discourage you. Bear in mind that, like what Laura Fasig did, what you’re doing is making a lifetime difference for your students, as well as in the lives of others whose lives they touch.

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Easter, The Ultimate Answer To, “What Would Jesus Do?”

Golgotha

With this year’s Resurrection Sunday celebration approaching, I’ve been reflecting on a really good related discussion I had with a friend, around this time of year, about five years ago. What was then a new relationship seemed to be one where we quickly recognized that we liked each other regardless of our differing views on some pretty important topics. I say “really good discussion” because it was an open exchange with both of us genuinely interested in hearing the other’s points of view and wanting to learn from that. Candidly, I have to give my friend more credit than I can take myself, in that regard. Although this “really good discussion” mostly involved the two forbidden topics typically warned against for peaceful relationships … Politics and Religion … as I strongly suspected, this was just our first “really good discussion” of many to come.

One of the results of that conversation was for me to be reminded that, while I was clear in my understanding of my positions on the issues we discussed, I wanted to be able to clearly express my views to others. The question that was raised that confronted me with this most significantly was the question, “Do you believe there’s only one way to Heaven?” Although I think my response to this was adequate, it seemed to me that I should be prepared to offer more than an answer that’s just OK to such an important question. In fact, in 1 Peter 3:15, the Bible compels Christians to do this, saying, “[be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you”.

Expressing the “reason of the hope that is in (me)” is what I wanted to be better prepared to do but, before I delve into that, I should give you my initial answer to that question. My answer is:

I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. I, also, believe that every person can have salvation through accepting Christ’s sacrifice for their sin. And, I believe that salvation, through accepting Christ’s sacrifice, is the one and only path to Heaven.

Since my friend didn’t state his position on this question, I won’t presume to give you his answer. I will say his question was accompanied with several related questions and comments that I took into account as I considered how to best express the “reason of the hope that is in (me)”. One related question was, “Do you think Mother Teresa went to Heaven?” and one related comment was, “I make it a daily habit, when considering certain choices, to ask myself, ‘What would Jesus do?'” I’m paraphrasing rather than quoting here but, to me, this combination of questions and comments had certain implications. One was that while my friend had some high regard for Jesus, he didn’t necessarily accept Him as being the only way to Heaven. Another was that “good works”/”being a good person” should get you to Heaven.

So, in order to respond to this and more adequately express the “reason of the hope that is in (me)”, the two questions to answer are:

  1. Who is Jesus
  2. Can “good works” alone be a path to Heaven?

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Going To Heaven Alone

iron

REBUKED BY FRIENDS

When I express strong views on a sensitive topic, I’m not surprised when I get pushback from those who see matters differently. But, when I’m rebuffed by those who I think are friends, accepting me and my beliefs, it’s sort of shocking. I had that happen recently and it led me to do some introspection that I’d like to share.

The specifics of this recent occurrence involved a meeting I attended with a small group of people who I’ve worked very closely with for several years. Without inappropriately sharing intimate details of that meeting, let me just say that there was mention of another person who we’ve known through our work, who seemed to be going through a difficult time and that they were attending a Bible study being conducted by someone else we’ve known through our work. Hearing that was a pleasant surprise to me so I responded by saying something like, “I just hope (that person) is truly paying attention at the Bible study.” With that, I sensed a reaction that I later described as a unanimous rolling of the eyes by the other participants.

UNDERSTANDING THE REBUKE

Since my comment came just from my truly caring about the person we had been discussing, that added to my bewilderment over being chided as I was. So, the following day, I approached one of the other attendees to discuss this. In addition to getting affirmation of my sensing that unanimous rolling of the eyes, I was reminded that there are some settings where discussion of topics like religion and politics is just not welcome. And, beyond that, I was told that I was just more spiritual than the other attendees.

In reflecting on that one-on-one follow-up conversation, I came to the conclusion that there wasn’t really anything in it that I didn’t already know. And, in reflecting on my follow-up self-conversation, I remained sure of my caring intent with the comment that led to my rebuke. To me, though, the disapproval I had received from my friends clearly indicated the need for me to examine how I share my Christian faith in order that it’s received as intended. So, I determined to do just that.

FOCUS ON A SIN

In the course of making this examination, I thought of a point that I’d heard Pastor Brian Brodersen, of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, make in a teaching from 1 Corinthians. As a side note, I ended up going through 11 of Pastor Brian’s teachings to find what I was looking for. At first, that seemed like a nuisance but it turned out that I was richly blessed through a fresh look at much more of God’s Word than I’d had in mind. Anyway, I did find what I was looking for in Pastor Brian’s lesson, entitled “Tending to Our Own Issues”, based on the following Scripture:

I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.” – 1 Corinthians 5:9-13

The point that I had been thinking of was made by Pastor Brian in addressing the part of this Scripture that says, “I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.” Pastor Brian’s comments here were: “ … notice, first of all, that the issues of sin go beyond sexual immorality … notice the other sins included there … we have a tendency to isolate a specific sin and focus in on that sin to the exclusion of other sins … that’s part of the problem we have right now, in the current cultural situation, in regard to homosexuality. I think that we, the church in general, have over emphasized this one sin. If you think about it, as we share the gospel with people, generally, we don’t begin by talking about specific sins. But, with homosexuality it seems we focus in on that particular thing. That’s the wrong way to understand it. I was thinking the other day about the idea that so many gay people have in their mind … I’ve heard them say this, ’You think I’m going to Hell because I’m gay.’ The reality is, they’re not going to Hell because they’re gay. They’re going to Hell because they’re lost. They’re going to Hell because they’re a sinner. They’re going to Hell for the same reason an adulterer is and the same reason a swindler is and for the same reason a slanderer is … because they haven’t turned to Christ to have their sins forgiven.” Continue reading

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The Sweet Sound Of Grace

Guest-Post From:

Steve Tessitore, American Missionary in the U.K.

Amazing-Grace-Cross

Verse 1: “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost but now I’m found; Was blind but now I see”

Grace = God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense

Amazing = A wonderment; way above normal; out of the ordinary; defying the senses.

“How sweet the sound” … Since when does grace make sound?

“That saved a wretch like me” … How does grace making a sound save somebody?

“I once was lost but now I’m found was blind but now I see” … I don’t remember being lost and needing to be found and I have never been blind.

DO WE KNOW WHAT WE’RE SAYING

WHEN WE SING THIS SONG?!

“How sweet the sound” … This is not sound that resonates in the physical ear but in the soul of man. This sound that grace makes is the sweetness of being given a gift, a prize; something immeasurable in value for no reason other than God’s love for us.

“That saved a wretch like me”  The saving is for the eternal soul of a man. It needs saving because man’s end, without being given this gift, is an eternity apart from God.

“I once was blind” … Not physical blindness but the kind of blindness that doesn’t see the trouble I’m in spiritually. I don’t see God’s riches, at Christ’s expense, just waiting for me to receive by faith, believing in Christ’s loving sacrifice of Himself for me.

“But now I see” … Our spiritual eyes are opened by believing in Jesus. We get born again – John 3:3. God’s Spirit helps us to see things as He sees them. He says our sin leads to death, physical and spiritual. God is light and so, where He is, there is light. Spiritual death means separation from God and darkness.

Verse 2: “Twas grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved; How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.” 

“Twas grace that taught my heart to fear” … How does grace teach my heart to fear when, just before, I was being told how amazing grace was for saving me? As John Newton, the composer of Amazing Grace, was enjoying the sweetness of amazing grace, he was also made aware that this good news comes on the heels of the bad news of the condition of man’s sinful soul. Grace teaching my heart to fear … “for the wages of sin is death” – Romans 6:23(a) … fear for my soul begins here.

“… and grace my fears relieved” … “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23(b) My fears relieved. In the event of learning why he needed grace, Newton’s heart feared his end if grace was not available to him.

Hebrews 2:9 says, “But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffering of death crowned with glory and honor, that He, by the GRACE of God might taste death for everyone.” Hebrews 2:14-15 continues the principle of Christ dying in our place …”inasmuch as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same (flesh and blood), that through death he might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through FEAR OF DEATH were all their lifetime subject to bondage.”

Because we are born into the world already spiritually dead to God, Jesus came and applied the circumcision of His flesh to us. That is, He took the chastisement of His flesh, as a man, which we deserved, and forgives us of all unrighteousness, and takes the eternal spiritual arrest warrant that the devil holds over us and nails it to the cross while declaring it … PAID IN FULL! – Colossians 2:13-14 (paraphrased)

“But God who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, has made us alive together with Christ. By grace you are saved.” – Ephesians 2:4-5

“How precious did that GRACE appear the hour I first believed.”

AMAZING!

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Why God? – The Right Place To End!

Empty Tomb

WHERE TO BEGIN

In my first “Why God?!” article (Why God? – The Right Place To Start!), I noted that this question typically, comes with crying out over hearing of some horrendously evil act in the world or a natural disaster or a friend’s life-threatening illness or a family member’s untimely death or some other form of suffering. I went on to offer encouragement that looking to The Creator is the right place to start in seeking answers to such questions and that He gives us the reassurance of His loving intentions.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

THE PATH TO TAKE

With the second article in this series (Why God? – The Right   Way To Go), I admitted that my honest answer to “Why God?!” questions about evil and suffering in the world is, “I do not know.” However, I pointed out that all the related answers we really need can be found in God’s Word. And, I indicated that in looking for these answers it’s important to start with the understanding that “… from the beginning it was not so.”

Tragically, it was the choice man made with the ability God gave us to love and specifically, the free will He gave us to decide whether to love or not to love that led to evil and suffering coming into His creation. With that understood, I drew attention to the fact that, though it was beyond us to recover from what is commonly known as “the fall of man”, even in His condemnation of that first choice of man, He revealed that He had prepared a path to redemption. Detailing that path and where it leads is what I have in mind with this, the last in my series of “Why God?!” articles. Continue reading

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Why God? – The Right Way To Go.

QUESTIONScreation

In my last article on this question, I pointed out that it seems more commonplace to be expressed as “Why God?!”, in crying out over hearing of some horrendously evil act in the world or a natural disaster or a friend’s life-threatening illness or a family member’s untimely death or some other form of suffering. Of course, this impassioned plea can take on other forms – e.g. “Why did God allow this?” or “Why me God?” or “Why now God?”.

As Atheist-turned-Christian author and apologist, Lee Strobel, said in a speech just after the theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado, in 2012 : “(The) ‘why’ question goes back thousands of years. It was asked in the Old Testament by Job and the writers of the Psalms, and it was especially relevant during the 20th century, where we witnessed two World Wars, the Holocaust, genocides in the Soviet Union and China, devastating famines in Africa, the killing fields of Cambodia, the emergence of AIDS, the genocide in Rwanda and the ethnic cleansing of Kosovo. And the 21st Century didn’t start any better. There was 9/11 and now the Syrian slaughters, and on and on. Why all of this if there’s a loving and powerful God? Why do bad things happen to good people?”

ANSWERS

In initially responding to these “Why God” questions, I have to agree with the response that Strobel gave in that same speech, when he said, “… the only answer I can honestly give consists of four words – ‘I do not know.’” However, God’s Word does provide answers for many of the most common “Why God?” questions and I want to take a look at those answers here.

Though I recognize that it seems out of context for the question, “Why God?”, the first answer that consistently comes to me is the one Jesus gave when He was asked about divorce. Continue reading

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Stand By Me at the Glassy Sea

Ron CoxRonald Ray Cox, a friend from the time of my birth, passed from life on Earth to life in eternity at about 8:32 a.m. (EST), October 19, 2013. Knowing that, it’s likely for you to think that I’m writing this to honor my friend and to tell you wonderful stories from a relationship that stretched out over nearly 70 years. Though I do want to honor my old friend, since there was a gap in our relationship from the time we finished college until about five months prior to Ron’s passing, when he was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, I don’t have those nearly 70 years’ worth of stories to share. Thankfully, I do have the story to share of how I was blessed in reconnecting with Ron at the end of his life and getting to witness how he and his Wife, Kim, embraced God and each other through their final season together.

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